Experience During the Covid-19 Pandemic

 My Echoing Life during the Pandemic

                  What started this echoing life? In all honestly, I’m not sure, but I do know that it all started after I realized how I was so used to a routine that did not change a single bit. It was year 2020, online classes just started and I was surpris ingly still an 8^th grader at time; but around the second quarter, I was already discouraged when it came to doing my modules. I was exhausted on looking at the same screen showing the exact same white paged filled with words that made me feel dispassionate on studying. However, I still kept moving and tried to complete them and I eventually did. My actions echoed throughout the 2 years where I was “stuck” inside our house.

                My days started with waking up at 11 a.m. ( if I told that to my doctor, I guess she wouldn’t like that at all), then lazily going downstairs to eat “brunch”, and heading back upstairs to  start some of my modules/LAS. I did not shower until it was like 5 p.m. (Yes, I only showered once a day). If we both think about it, it was disgusting wasn’t it? The thoughts in my head also echoed, once in a while, making me feel distressed and depressed. My routine never budged no matter how I wanted it to, because my body was so used to doing the exact actions that got me to be so unproductive. During the pandemic, you almost cannot differentiate the movement of a garden snail and the way I do my activities. Everything I do is in “slow motion”, to the fact that I can’t even keep up with the time and felt like I was being left behind. When the online and modular studying was implemented I was on 8^th grade, it was very difficult for me to adjust. I know not only me but the whole society because we are not used to this kind of living. Absorbing the radiation from the gadgets while staring at them for a long time; well we don’t have other choice but to do so because this is the only way we can continue studying. But when the 3^rd and 4^th quarter came, I was not attending the classes anymore. This is harsh but I felt like I was the dumbest person ever (I guess I was just being too hard on myself), you know when your head feels empty and you feel lightheaded, that is what I felt when I was reading those modules because to be honest I wasn’t able to understand the lessons. I always found myself just staring at those papers and if papers can talk it probably would have said that it felt threatened by my stares. Jokes aside, I felt depressed and suicidal (this may trigger you at some point, sorry), my academics performance, family relationship wasn’t great at all. My parents never thought about my feeling, not even once I felt a hug and comfort during my breakdowns but I still love them more than anything. Those problems echoed when I was on 9^th grade, I felt vulnerable but with those ups and downs, I pass the 2 years of online classes with of course the help of the people surrounding me and most importantly God.

          I always try to entertain myself when I’m doing nothing, so I tried painting and drawing but the problem was I am not good at all and said I’m not built for this ( I’m built different, just kidding).  Then planting pop-out of my mind but I thought and said to myself “my life is already disorganized, how am I able to water them every day?, I giggled softly thinking about it. They say “time management is life management” but I don’t have that.  So in short neither one of them worked for me to cope-up with stress. One day, my father bought a guitar and that is when I found myself a new hobby to release my stress during the pandemic. After I finished 9^th grade, I was given the opportunity to come out of my shell/cave/room because my aunt wanted me to go along on her vacation, so I did.  My echoing routine had changed, I already learned to wake up early, eat my meals on time, spent time with family more often and take a bath atleast twice a day. I got out from the darkness and now I see light for the future.

          In conclusion, the pandemic had a negative and positive results for me as a students and as a person, the negative side is that my mental health wasn’t stable enough for me to handle things around me and the positive side is that I was able to do the things that I wasn’t able to during the face-to-face classes like spending time with family and finding a hobby. All in all my other characteristics had evolved and I will always tell myself that I will not do the echoing routine of my life during the pandemic again.

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